Sunday 31 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Still got the stomach bug. Actually it's getting worse again. Was up a lot through last two nights. Aarrgghh!!

Baclofen 40, 40, 40. Few cravings 'cos there's still a lot of ill feeling and upset around, which I don't handle well. I never have. Had a hot whisky toddy yesterday, again with the amount of weight I've lost over the last week or so, I'm just feeling the cold more than usual. Mind you, it is freezing here. I made the toddy last over an hour, in fact I had to keep warming it up again. That was enough, and I didn't have another.

Pip xx

Friday 29 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Hi
Only just getting over the gastroenteritis. I lost so much weight. Yippee!!
Dog still poorly.
Julie still hates me.
Had a couple of very sugary, very honey-filled lemon toddies last night. One had a decent slug of whisky in it, because I felt so cold.
Didn't make me want to dive into the whole bottle, as it normally would.
Baclofen 40, 40, 40. I got my In-House supply sorted properly, which is great.
Pip xx

Wednesday 27 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Hi
Sorry no post yesterday. I have the mother of gastroenteritis. It's everywhere round here at the moment. I won't go into details, but Dear God!!!
And one of the dogs is sick as is going to the vets in the morning.
And Julie has told me never to contact her again, and leave her alone.
So, a great day was had by all.
But, a small glimmer of light. A very close and dear old friend of mine e-mailed me tonight. Completely out of the blue. Had seen me on Facebook, apparently. Although I never go on it, and my face isn't on it anyway!! We haven't met for almost 25 years. But we shall soon. Really cheered me up.
No booze. Few cravings, what with the tummy bug, the dog, and Julie. But no alcohol was taken.
I had to get up for my 400th visit to the toilet, so thought I'd do this before I go back to bed ... or the toilet.
Pip xx

Monday 25 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

It isn't any better.
I'm so down, it's as much as I can be bothered to do doing this little bit of daily "housekeeping" here.
But, no cravings. There is some drink in the house, but I haven't even been tempted. So, something's still working, even if it's not me!
It will be better tomorrow!!!
Pip xx

Sunday 24 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Great news about MA on the message board.
I'm so down I can't tell you. This time last week me and Julie had never been stronger. Now it has all crumbled apart. And I'm heartbroken.
Finished the cider. Made me sick.
She has said some horrible things on MWO. She has put 2 and 2 together and made about 500.
I'm so sad, I don't even want to get out of bed. I miss her.
It'll be better tomorrow.
Pip xx

Saturday 23 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Thrilled to report that MA doing better than expected (see the Message Board).
I on the other hand, am not.
Personal shit, my friends. Personal shit.
Bought a big bottle of cheap crappy, but very strong, cider. Haven't had much. It tasted horrible. Almost made me sick.
Couldn't sleep at all.
Feel so anxious, I can't tell you. Almost having panic attacks.
Bugger
But so happy that Mike has finally realised how much he loves that very special ultra-kind lady. If he'd realised that years ago, she wouldn't be where she is now.
Pip xx

Friday 22 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

What a crap day.
On a personal level, I had prayed for some good news that singularly failed to come. To be honest, I'm in a terrible state, and craving alcohol. Haven't succumbed yet, but I think I will at some stage. I just hope I don't, or that I don't really want it when I've got it. That has happened before.
I will fill you in on MA's progress as best I know, and when I know, on the Message Board.
The World looked so rosy this time last week. I like being a husband / lover and a dad. Now it's finally fallen apart for good.
Pip xx

Wednesday 20 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

I have nothing else to to say, other than

Just don't die MA.

You silly fucker.

Pip xx

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Baclofen 40, 40, 40. Atenolol 100mg

Still full of a cold, and quite wheezy. Otherwise, good night. Not having a hot toddy today though.
No cravings at all.

Tuesday 19 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Hi
Had a terrible cold and sore throat for couple of days. As always, I'm shaking it off very quickly.
Had a couple of stiff hot whisky lemon honey toddies to help, but they tasted horrible. Normally, I would've loved them. They almost made me sick. Now, that IS a new and unexpected thing.
Baclofen 40, 40, 40. Atenolol 100mg
Feeling really positive. Looked a bit old and knackered on the new Video Blog, but I did have a cold, so forgive me! (Actually, I am old and knackered!!)
Pip xx

Sunday 17 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Funny old world.
I mean nobody any harm. But one person is messing with my brain so much that I can't stand him. Which just isn't me.
Baclofen 40, 40, 40 until I run out again.
I must be the least perfect Baclofen taker in the World.
Speak to me people.
Pip xx

Friday 15 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Hi everyone
Decided to have a few days away. Peace and quiet. Bit of exercise.
Went really well for couple of days, then it all 'come undone' yesterday. Had to reduce my Baclofen as I hadn't got enough with me (waiting on a shipment). Had a few drinks. I feel great today physically, and don't want any more. But emotionally I am drained. Certain tensions seem indestructible. And it is a very big problem. Almost certainly now totally unsurmountable after yesterday. Qui sera sera.

Pip xx

Monday 11 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Addiction

Hello Nina

You are most welcome to B4a. Please join in on the message board.

Good day today. Still thinking of titrating up a bit. Now that the somnolence of the increased dose has gone, I'm sleeping really well through normal nights. First time in ages.

Baclofen 40, 40, 40. No cravings. No alcohol. Going out with friends tonight, so that should be another test.

Pip xx

Sunday 10 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Doing OK again now, that I have stablilsed on Baclofen 40, 40, 40.

Had another migraine yesterday with visual aura, but it only lasted about 6 hours.

No cravings. No alcohol.

Pip xx

Friday 8 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Had a special night out last night with friends, so treated myself (yes, deliberately treated myself) to two vodka and oranges. No cravings at all, and didn't want any more. Sipped them over hours. Enjoyed them.

Really pleased with that.

Baclofen 40, 40, 40.

Pip xx

Wednesday 6 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

No Diary yesterday. Trouble with server again. Stress, stress, stress. Thank God for Baclofen, otherwise that would've been a full bottle of vodka day. But ten whisky coffees took the edge off it for me. Just kidding!!!

Baclofen 40, 40, 40. Few cravings, probably due to the stress. Probably the worst I've had since the site was sabotaged, to be honest. For about one hour, I would have walked across hot coals for a drink. But thankfully, I couldn't find any hot coals. In fact, we've had yet another big snow fall here. So, if I need a drink later, I would walk across freezing ice to get one!!

But, no booze. Although, I am thinking about increasing my dose again for a while.

Monday 4 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Baclofen 40, 40, 40
Few cravings. Bad evening and night last night with personal stuff, only made worse this evening. After a truly lovely dinner, last night, with a glass or two of red wine and a decent cognac, a stiff vodka was had tonight on the back of today's grief. About a large double, but that was it. Happy New Year. When the Devil shits in your gravy, he does it properly. He may only be single barreled, but it does the job, so to speak.

Otherwise, feeling great, health wise, as I was told I looked last night. Then it all went horribly wrong, and I will always regret that enormously. And the fall out has been awful and immediate.

Pip xx

Saturday 2 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing Our Alcoholism

Baclofen 40, 40, 40 - just in case I run out, I'm holding back a bit.

Strange day. When I first started high does Baclofen, I had some horrible, horrible symptoms. Headaches that went on for about two months - with hallucinations, and nightmares, and Lord knows what.

Today, out of the blue, I had the mother of all migraines. I swear this, my friends, I swear it. It was agony. About the size of a UK 2p piece (maybe 3cm in circumference), exactly in the middle of my forehead. And all day I had the smell of, well, dog pooh, in my nose and I could almost taste it. All day. This evening, I actually vomited when I smelled dinner cooking. Then all of a sudden, the headache went, along with the smell and the taste.

I have never had anything like that at all, until I started Baclofen. Never had a migraine in my life.

But, still no cravings and no booze. Baclofen isn't easy. Baclofen might not be for everyone. Baclofen might not even be for me, but so far, it is much better than being drunk at 10am every day.

Burn me in effigy if you wish. And some of you would. But I tell it how I experience it. Every day.

Pip xx

Friday 1 January 2010

Baclofen - Curing My Alcoholism

Happy New Year to you all. I trust there are very few hangovers out there.

Baclofen 50, 50, 50. Feel really good, actually. Still a bit tired after the hike in my dose, but it will settle.

My New Year's resolution can now be different from every other year, thanks to Baclofen.

Mine is to stop going anywhere near MWO, and just make my own way, on this site. A very wise friend told me something along those lines.

They will never get or accept me. nd I can get pretty prickly when I want to.

I feel better already. Not a prick in sight. Ha!!

Pip xx